A little background first. I am a high school teacher who was diagnosed with a severe attention deficit 19 yrs ago at age 35. I also coach in my school’s athletic program (including hockey), which is one of the most competitive and prestigious sports programs in our state. Also, I still manage to play hockey at my age! As an educator with a diagnosis, this sounds like more than a meds issue to me. For quite some time, I thought that meds would ‘fix this ADD thing’, not realizing that there are almost always compounding issues that accompany it.
Is your son in therapy? You don’t mention any of that in your post. You mention his self-esteem issues, so it tells me that there is more going on here. I know in my case I carried a great deal of shame and self-criticism. I also know that adolescent boys (I’ve taught at my all-boys school for 25 yrs now) often act out rather than deal with/express the powerful emotions with which they struggle processing. Having an objective third party helping him navigate those things can make all the difference. It will help him as a teammate, friend, and son. It’s worth exploring, given the challenges you’ve all been facing – I bet he’s even frustrated with himself (we LOVE to beat ourselves up!).
I wish you and your son good luck, and send all positive energy your way. Being part of a team can be especially transformative for an adolescent, so I hope he can do the work necessary to get himself back on the ice. I hope this helped…