Reply To: Should I become a mother

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#193825
Anna Martin
Participant

People are much more than psychiatric labels, and my mom is a fantastic person all around. That said, certain aspects of her personality are very ADHD-linked. People with ADHD can be very focused on the present, making them emotionally open and spontaneous. I never lacked for love, and we always had many people around. Like many women with ADHD, she’s sort of verbally hyperactive. She’s constantly talking, which is actually suitable for intellectual development, especially in the first few years of life.

However, that same focus on the present often lends itself to many emotional ups and downs, disorganization, unpredictability, and sometimes impulsivity and bad decision making. Our house was crazy, in funny ways, in silly ways, and complicated ways. We could never find anything. Seriously, we were constantly losing things – keys, remote controls, scissors. The parents would occasionally try to make a solemn declaration, “the scissors will be in this kitchen drawer from now on.” But it never lasted more than a couple of days. Nothing stayed in the same place between the ADHD mom and the ADHD kids. That said, I wouldn’t trade my mother for the world. Even though she has many bad habits (people with ADHD are more likely to smoke, overeat, etc.), she is also in excellent health, and I think it’s because she doesn’t worry unnecessarily. She values social connections above all things.