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Good morning Paul,
Thank you for the feedback. I really appreciate it.
First, I know that I was consciously self-medicating with the coffee and tea. The combination of both with the cocoa that I use, which also has MCT oil included, did an adequate job at helping me with focus.
Second, in terms of how my wife and my work supervisor saw me (pre-diagnosis), I am fortunate that I’ve never had serious situations either at home or at work. Now, I understand that the slips were due to my impulsivity (perhaps not thinking things through). At home, my wife’s occasional frustration is very understandable. On the flip side, I feel similarly when our son sometimes doesn’t may attention to what I say.
Third, the update here is that I, ultimately, decided to try to medication. I figured that, as long as I didn’t have a bad reaction or literally nothing happened, I could always stop (confirmed that I safely could, prior to starting) and return to my previous protocol (coffee, tea & cocoa with MCT). Of course, I noticed that my attention was at the same level of my protocol or maybe a bit better. The biggest change that I noticed is better control of my impulsivity. I noticed that either it took me longer to hit 0-60 or perhaps it was at a lower level.
Last night was a big test. My wife and I put a new desk together. I did most of the manual work, while my wife directed me. Once, we had to fix how we put a part together. Not once did I lose my cool and I was pretty focused. For so long, I have said that I’m “not a handy guy.” I don’t know that I am one but I wonder how much of my low (self-perceived) ability is due to my ADHD.
Medication is a personal choice. I am fortunate that, so far, the medicine ended up working for me. Right now, I just started, so I need to dial in the appropriate dosage.