Hi there, so I’m ADD stay at home mum of three 10yr, 7yr ADHD son and 4 yr.
My concern here is the Marijuana, I will tell you straight out I hate drugs my brother did it for 15 yrs mainly Marijuana and it was horriable and it really mess’s with the mind and can be even worse for the ADHD brain. There are other treatments available other then Addrell. My brother was once very bright and talented, now he can not have more then a basic job he works in warehouses etc. Ok I’ll leave that with you.
Being messy is so ADHD, truth is she probably doesn’t really see the mess, no she is not really ignoring it but really doesn’t see it. Routine is the best thing out for ADHD, and it appears that we work best with music playing to, we are very emotional so we next positive up best tunes going. I’ve been married 15yrs and this is I believe the best way to deal with problems, sit down with her when it’s quiet, no TV, no music, No place to be and be honest and speaking loveingly and tell her you know she is not trying to be messy but you find it hard to live with mess and that is stress’s you out, and as you both move into the future you would to think of ways together to try and keep things tidier. Tell her this is not an attack but something you want to think about now so it won’t be a problem later in your relationship. Have a think together, now don’t rush this next bit, slowly suggest routine chores which you can print up (Visuale can be key here, promante place and colours and fonts and pics) for both of you to do. Encourage the routine and make sure she has her say about how it is put together (When I first started driving I lost my keys SO many times, so I got a key bowl and taught myself the routine of putting my keys in the bowl it took about 3 months to master this. I never lose now).
Be aware to that the messiness can become overwhelming for her, when this happens most girls tend to shut down for me when this happens I watch a lot of TV. Sometimes the best thing to do it just get out of the house for a few hours, then she will come back more clear minded.
Have a read up on Cognitive Re Training, it works great with the ADHD brain.
I hope this helps you.