Reply To: Help to stop negative feedback loops

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#189901
Penny Williams
Keymaster

When an individual is struggling, they either need/want help or need/want silence. Your son is telling you he needs quiet to be able to calm (when emotions hijack the brain, access to the frontal lobe/thinking brain is closed off, so talking and trying to listen and comprehend adds to the overwhelm and pressure).

You have to be comfortable too though. I’d talk with your son in a calm moment and explain to him that the outburst is really difficult for you too. That you need to step away while he’s calming down so that you can give him what he needs, but also be ok yourself as well.

If he’s uncomfortable with you being out of sight, continue sight-lines but use headphones. Or set a particular place that he knows he can find you when he’s calm. You can each stipulate a calm spot.

Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Podcaster & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism