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Hey– I’m back. I’ve been thinking about this a little bit. I wonder if he is one of those ADDers who are just exhausted by social activity?
It might explain some things. Whatever he does for work, the daily interactions exhaust him. He comes home and you are there, wanting –more interaction! Thus, the quick bite to eat and losing himself via gaming.
It could also explain (but not excuse) the Tinder stuff. He gets the sex he desires, and because it’s just a hook up, he doesn’t have to deal with the social aspect of a GF wanting to go places, do things, and talk.
So when he is mentally ready for interaction, he’s super nice and cuddly, etc. I’m not sure this explains the sex avoidance, unless he is also struggling with his own sexuality. (Sorry to drop that bomb on you.)
All this considered, until you get to the bottom of what is driving the behaviors you consider challenging, you should not marry this person.
If he is exhausted by social activity, imagine how difficult it will be for him to deal with kids, etc. if you have hopes in that direction. He may not ever be able to be available the way you want him to be. You need to decide, for your sake and his if you want to continue the relationship. There may be better matches for both of you out there.
Again, best of luck with this difficult stuff.