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Your son with ADHD is developmentally delayed in social skills. He appears to be a “know-it-all” because he’s not yet good at social reciprocity and weighing how something feels to someone else. He seems “argumentative” because he’s likely a concrete, black-and-white thinker, and only sees one way.
When I realized that my son was lagging in social skills when he seemed bossy and selfish with friends, I was able to create change by implementing social rules (concrete thinkers are great at following rules when they can). For instance, when a friend comes to your house, you always let them choose what you’re going to play first, because they’re your guest. Or, When you share something with someone like introducing yourself or telling them what you like, you then ask them what the same thing. “I like building spaceships with Legos. What do you like to build?”
Social stories have helped a lot over the years too.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Podcaster & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism