Reply To: Rejection Sensitivity, Stonewalling & Denial Boyfriend.

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Le Petite Morte

Thank you for your lovely words. It’s hugely frustrating. In a way I know RSD should only be for a short period, 2 months now seems a bit rash. I suppose maybe he got informed in the past, and never challenged when like this.
In his words “he usually snaps out of it”

But I’m like dude, this is not healthy. Not for anyone.

I’ve tried every tactic under the sun and I have given space. I’ve sent messages, 4 over this whole period. Its got to the point two weeks ago where I had to ask their sibling via text to get my stuff back as I need it for work. After he had ignored me from the initial response.

They got back fairly quickly after ringing him and saying I needed my stuff, they said he would drop it off at my work. But it’s now over a week and nothing. I think maybe more lip service for his sibiling and me. I’m giving him till the end of the week but then we close for a month.

I’ll text him some thing lovely but implying he needs to touch base, and that if not I’ll be heading up with two coffees in the new year.

I’m taking my housemate with me who’s wise and strangely he has talked to him. But even my housemate is concerned and when we talk about it we just come back to the same conclusion. That this is odd behaviour.
He has hidden this from his family for years and I think by him telling me he does this, he has tried to “Normalize” it. However it’s not normalised.
It hurts so deeply and it really triggers me. Our attachment types are different I’m more anxious and also I think I may have combined Add/ADHD, researching into this has made me question a lot.
I can relate to so much. Especially the RSD and I abuse caffeine like no tomorrow amongst a whole load of other symptoms.

So anyway I digress; I’ve made the descion to leave it till the end of this week to see if he acts. (I do doubt this). I’ve got a text lined up that’s to the point and short with love saying what I’ll be doing next.

I just don’t know what else to do. It’s sad because with the right support it’s something that could be overcome but it will impact other areas of his life if he doesn’t reflect. I know I’m not programmed the same and the way this has disrupted me is awful, so triggering.

Anyway peace and love and thank you for you response and thoughts on this or what type of response I may get. It’s only happeneing the once.

Ps- I am also a teacher so I do understand how this can effect form a pedagogical view of the self and this is why. Take the personal aspect out of it it would still be the same. Someone is struggling here.