Thanks to all who could read my post and relate to it. But especially thanks to those who answered, as it did make me feel a little less lonely today. I would love to chat or email with you, Sarensi or Emmsagogo, or anyone, but I’m not sure how… Are we allowed to post our email addresses here? If not, how do people contact one another in a one-to-one format?
Sarensi, you mentioned the gym, and that is also something that is also something that I really miss…the opportunity to work out every day, and make myself so tired physically that I just can’t BE stressed! I actually could go to my gym if I wear a mask the entire time. I might resort to trying that. My anxiety would surely be less.
Emmsagogo, I could have written every word you posted. All your thoughts and desires to be understood by others…it all rings so true! Oh, except for the creative bit. Both of you are lucky to be talented that way. I am so NOT creative artistically, but my child got the “artistic genes” that run in my family. She is an interaction designer, so I admire skills in design very much.
I don’t know WHY it is so important for some of us to be truly understood by others, but that’s exactly how I feel. It’s like…I read all these blogs and articles about ADHD findings and copy some of them and like you, I really want to share them with those people who have to deal with me regularly. I want to say, “LOOK!” “That’s me!…I’m not just the over-educated, unemployed black sheep in our family!” “I struggle so much, and good lord, I need a good therapist who knows how to prescribe for ADHD.”
Because of ADDitude, I KNOW I am not alone, but being very restricted physically, and socially inept anyway, it can sure feel
like I might as well be.
I also have bad thoughts about my life. My county therapist, at the end of each session, would ask me, (because they have to ask), “Do you have any thoughts about hurting yourself?” I always wanted to yell,
“No, but I sure as hell don’t want to keep LIVING my life THIS way! Because this really sucks.”
I hope you can get a therapist and/or specialist through your husband’s insurance. When January comes around with open enrollment, my partner is going to add me to his insurance also, with the same hope of finding help for me.
I think I am also going to reluctantly join Facebook after all, in hopes of being able to join the virtual ADDitude group that I THINK is available through Facebook. It’s worth a shot. Someone…let me know if we can share email addresses here or get in touch some other way. Thanks and stay sane.