You post talked to me,,,and just reaffirmed the constant feeling of lonely that spins around in my head over and over, along with a multitude of different kinds of negative self talk and even images to go with that. A feeling that I live with every day. My anxiety is such that it has certainly made it worse. I crave conversation and know that by being with people keeps me well to a point.
My cronic loneliness is possibly an unreal thought in my head but never the less is ruining my life. I am 50 and diagnosed late. 42 is. I am an artist, illustrator and was a graphic designer,,,none of which I successfully continued after having kids.
Each day feels like I’m going crazy. When I wake up it feels like I’m boarding a flight. With no real direction. Im currently on ritalin and apart from getting rid of my cronic anxiety for parts of the day, it lately hasn’t helped me focas in the slightest. Not seeing anyone other than my family ,who don’t understand, and the prospect of not seeing anyone is definitely causing more depression. I even have unwanted , unhealthy thoughts about my life.
I struggle now with any kind of house work and to be quite honest just don’t care about it. I try to obtain some feeling happiness or well being from crafty ,creative projects. Which I have to..have to do everyday it seems to avoid boredom and the feeling of wanting just to lay down and sleep.
If I could make a few wishes…it would be to have my family read the stuff I put on the fridge about adhd and related illnesses, to see one person a day who at least understand the difficulties of mental health, to find a therapist who confirmed that I was living in hell but they could help me. And someone I could take my family to to describe my adhd and my limitations. Not feel guilty or ashamed and maybe be able to do a job I enjoyed but this is really out of the picture.
I am currently trying to use my husband’s work insurance to secure a adhd life coach or specialist. To help me get my life up and running again.
I feel for you guys
And would be very happy to pen pal or exchange communications