Reply To: Losing it

#187598
lynneiha
Participant

Dear 2wheelz,
Thank you, thank you for making me laugh! I completely understand how it is to lose everything, all the time.
I have to admit that I laughed pretty hard about you calling the mental health hotline when you questioned your sense of reality.
Really, I am just jealous and I wish I was as “free mentally” as you are! I couldn’t even make myself call the mental health hotline when I was having suicidal thoughts this morning, trying to get out of bed.

I have this doctor appt tomorrow-really, she’s a nurse practitioner-and I know, deep down, she’s going to deny me the Vyvanse I need- again. Even though by now she’s seen my psychiatric record that shows I took Vyvanse and did well on it for 7 to 8 years. Now the psychiatrist retired, I haven’t been able to get anyone to let me have my medication. And I know I’ll feel suicidal after my visit with her/
WHAT is WRONG with these doctors and mental health people??

Anyway…I tell people I am as good as a magician, and if they want something to disappear, just hand it to me. Only problem is that I can’t always find whatever it was again. I have thrown away 20’s and a hundred dollar bill once, plus many of my good pens.

I saw this old “Twilight Zone” episode years ago…it was about someone living and losing things and those things would end up in a parallel world. Sometimes they might transport themselves back into the original world, but in a different spot from where they had been, Sometimes they never came back.
Crazy as I sound, it gives me some comfort to think of that, and I half-believe it, most days.