Reply To: Has anyone held their child back a grade

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#186719

Dont do it. I was held back in 2nd grade. I did have add aswell so it was hard to focus. But now that I am an adult I can see all the hurt it did to me. I had a teacher by the name of mr,Roger’s in 2nd grade. He was a bully and abused me verbally and physically on a daily basis. My routine in his class was go to a desk that was in the corner with a pencil 2 blank pieces of paper and a 500 word paragraph and I was forced to write that paragraph everyday all day long until the end of class and then I got hit with getting held back so I had to do it all over again another year while mr. Rogers sat there and mocked me in front of the class saying if you guys don’t pay attention you’re going to be just like him over there in the corner, and point at me in front of the class and make damn sure I would hear it too almost everyday and I am still in contact with some of the people I was in school with in the second grade that can confirm. I was bullied every day. ! And guess what else I got! Teased by everyone that moved up a grade and looked down on like I wasn’t smart enough to even say hi to my classmates.and continued threwout middle school and high school. So YES I LEARNED TO ACT OUT. I was one of the examples that I was reading about when I googled if be held back can be detrimental to development and look here (“Grade Retention should not be an option for students failing classes and also failing to be present at summer schools.

-Academic achievement of kids who are retained is poorer than that of peers who are promoted.
-Achievement gains associated with retention fade within two to three years after the grade repeated.
-Kids who are identified as most behind are the ones “most likely harmed by retention.”
-Retention often is associated with increased behavior problems.
-Grade retention has a negative impact on all areas of a child’s achievement (reading, math, and language) and socio-emotional adjustment (peer relationships, self-esteem, problem behaviors and attendance).
-Students who are retained are more likely to drop out of school compared to students who were never retained. In fact, grade retention is one of the most powerful predictors of high school dropout.
-Retained students are more likely to have poorer educational and employment outcomes during late adolescence and early adulthood.
-Retention is more likely to have benign or positive impact when students are not simply held back, but receive specific remediation to address skill and/or behavioral problems and promote achievement and social skills.”)

That’s how I felt. I’m sorry I had ADD and I bet it was easier to just throw me in the he corner and make me write ur “killer paragraph”. I learned how to spell (“because “) because it was the first word on the paper.and I get anxiety every time I write it because I remember.

And yes I did have issues like misbehaving,acting out, causing disruptions , ditching school or figuring out a way to get suspended so I could go home. And yes I did eventually drop out! I never did any drugs or anything. I wouldn’t even take the ADD medicine because it didn’t feel ok.
I had so much confusion alwase thinking i wasn’t good enough ever. I had to learn to lift my self up out of depression on a daily. Even to this day it a struggle. I am 31 years old I dropped out in 11th grade , I have a G.E.D that I got in prison while serving 5 years for 3 felonies I have never beed able to work certain jobs because of the abuse I received by those very same teachers that are supposed to lift you up and make learning fun. Instead I got told everytime I misbehaved that I’m gona end up in prison or working fast food all my life. So that’s the motivation I had feed to me IN THE SECOND GRADE!!!!! AND AGAIN IN THE 4TH GRADE mrs. Aguilar!!!!ur next ma’am.!. The mistreated me because I was hyper and thay didn’t know how or didn’t care to teach me. I still struggle with focus today but now I know how to control the energy. And thank you to the very few teachers that took the time to help me learn like mr,chance. He always made me feel like I could and can succeed.
Iv learned alot about life threw the years and how cruel people can be. I feel being held back contributed to my behavior and the way I would eventually turn out!. I have no regrets tho I wouldn’t be the man I am today. But maybe my life would be different if I didn’t have to endure that abuse.. I would like mr.rogers to be held accountable, along with Fairview elementary school for letting him treat children that way. And the second year in 2nd grade I stayed in the corner again threw out the year. So he didn’t care. Just held me back to hold me back. How dare he try to punish me for not understanding my condition or not have enough patience to try,it was easier to throw me in the corner.
Iv learned to not let anything hold me back. I keep a positive attitude towards life I have 2 beautiful boys and own my own business $0 debt and own over $80,000 in equipment nothing will stop me on my road to success but I will Never forget those people who tryed to belittle me and abuse me because they don’t understand what ADD is or dose. And I feel I’m owed an apology at the least because I have to live those mental scars for the rest of my life. And my son seems to be just like me when I was young, but I won’t let him suffer like I had to everyday I know better and how to live and function with ADD, how to use it to our advantage. Thank you for letting me share my true life story, and please don’t hold your child/children back. I could learn just fine just didn’t slow down enough to retain information. And I’m hands on you show me how to do it and I got it for ever but if you just say something and im not focusing,I can easily misconstrue that information. And add is not a bad thing I feel like it is more natural than a disease. Who wouldn’t like to have double the energy I appreciate the way I am. Thank you god for making me,me! And helping me stay strong threw the depression and anxiety..

Things that help for me with ADD.
No coffee !
Keep the sugar low
Run as much as u can or burn off as much daily energy you can before bed.(like sports)!
If you cant sleep I found that reading a book can help burn off the mental energy that keeps u up thinking about random stuff all night.
And #1 you can never ask to many questions when ur trying to understand something. Even simple things!remember its easy tell you something but better to show you. Hands on learning is the key!