Reply To: Avoidance, lying and anger – oh my!

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones Avoidance, lying and anger – oh my! Reply To: Avoidance, lying and anger – oh my!


It’s strategic lying, cover up and quite honestly probably forgetting but being sure they didn’t say or do “that”. Or agree to that. Which is why agreements aren’t really helpful.

But if a person doesn’t or can’t commit it to memory, they could text it or write in a notebook or something. Or a large piece of paper stuck to a wall so they couldn’t lose it. To always claim they can’t remember is pretty hard to believe it’s in good faith.

I get it’s hard. I know it, I forget lots of stuff. I have huge troubles with prioritizing, and chaos.

When is it a discussion about effort and hope not capacity? Even with add adhd PTSD anxiety trauma and terrible memory capacity hope and effort do matter. I wish I could see more discussion about hope and effort instead of it being taboo to talk about trying harder (in that context!), or trying in different ways if the same trying isn’t working. Or how to discover how to try in different ways, so we’re not all just despondently failing and believing we can’t, instead of that it’s just really difficult. Or difficult right now. Or that this way of dealing with it is difficult. So we can move forward.

(Steps down from soap box and trips on pile of laundry, and shoes self did not put away…because it was fine for “right now”…)