Reply To: Sister w/ ADHD, I'm out of patience and she thinks I'm selfish

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Relationships Sister w/ ADHD, I'm out of patience and she thinks I'm selfish Reply To: Sister w/ ADHD, I'm out of patience and she thinks I'm selfish

#184305
AdeleS546
Participant

Your sister should seek out the help of a cognitive-behavioral therapist. The therapist can help her figure out a way to remember to do things. To develop a plan to become organized so that she’s not late getting out the door. My fiance developed a system with the help of a BT. He is very organized for the most part, and is rarely late.

It is not up to you to do things for her you are correct. She is a grown woman, and by doing all these things for her you are just enabling her.

Boundaries need to be set. On the website the ADHD effect on marriage, there is a “Non” ADHD spouse who comments that he does the exact same thing when it comes to his wife. They often drive separately when they have to go somewhere, because she’s not organized enough to leave on time and he wants to be punctual.

What could happen if you do this? It will force her to be accountable for her actions and she will eventually get with the program and figure out a way to organize herself. Leave on time or else she will continue to be late and that will be on her.