I’m sorry you’re in such a dark place. It can be a real challenge to pull yourself out of this hole, but you can do it.
I agree with leftie22 that ADHD treatment could really help, and can replace the Weed in your life. You can’t expect ADHD symptoms and struggles to improve if you don’t address them.
Mistakes and challenges are part of life. No one has everything go just right for them all the time. No one! Learn from these challenges. Now you know what got in your way of passing that class, so you can try again better prepared for success. Now you know what got in the way of your relationship working, so you are better prepared for the next relationship.
Life is full of failures. You can see them as failures… or you can choose to see them as lessons.
Please reach out to someone for help. There’s a suicide hotline in your area if you feel you might harm yourself: https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Podcaster & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism