Reply To: Marriage Heading into Separation before Diagnosed with ADHD

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#183468
It’s A New Day
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I hope it helps to know, you are not alone. I am 58 and have been married 32yrs, barely. I knew it marriage was in trouble, but I never expected her to personally hand me divorce papers. I once again begged and pleaded with her for ANOTHER chance. After countless tears, we decided to remain married for financial and insurance reasons as long as I moved out. I began to seek out a therapist for me, as I had always promised to but never did. Just as I was about to put a binder on a house, I was diagnosed with ADHD. I think you know the feeling. I couldn’t wait to share this with my wife. After years of pain I put her through, she was not as excited. Fast forward, I never moved out, I have a wonderful therapist who is not afraid to tell it to me straight, and I work at being a better husband and person. It’s not always easy. I do not take medication due to work regulations, but take my therapy very seriously. I feel truly blessed that my wife has given me ANOTHER chance.
As far as advice, own it,100 percent, and seek a therapist. I spent many years hurting my wife and marriage. I wish I had discovered it at year 3 instead of 30. I wish you both the best of luck. Make sure you read posts from spouses. It is an eye opener. Also share all of this with your wife. Keep posting.