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Thanks for your reply, and interesting to hear how it has been for you this far.
I just came from my psychiatrist and I spoke to him again about this subject.
He told me that: “Actually… most patients I get don’t ask questions, they get their pills and are quite content if they work”.
It really surprises me. So I went into a longer talk with him, and it took a while before he even got my meaning. He was under the impression that I had a great need to talk to someone, get therapy and so on. And while he is not mistaken, the point I was trying to drive home was that you have lived your whole live with ADHD and it has shaped the way you see and interact with the world.
So, as far as “knowing who you are”, being on medication will certainly do something with your self-perception. Suddenly, maybe you’re able to focus for 3 hours on something boring. And you are just calmer, more content. So, when the kids are super-annoying and almost tearing the place down, instead of screaming from the top of your lungs, you firmly put them in place and told them that this behaviour is not acceptable. OR, maybe you find that you are more stable overall. So, where you would function great one day and not so great the next, you are suddenly better at managing yourself and still getting things done.
Now, I don’t know specifically what any other person with ADHD’s challenges are, but if you have been diagnosed with ADHD, you have to meet the criteria. And then taking medication will surely affect those symptoms.
Which inevitably surely must raise a few questions, like… “hmm… so… I wasn’t that bad at math after all… I was just not able to concentrate”, “So… I’m not quite the angry person that I thought I was… I just had problems managing my emotions”. “So, it’s not that I don’t want to work and am a lazy person, I just couldn’t muster the focus to pull through”.
I’m not the first in the world to get this diagnosis, and my psychiatrist is certainly not the first doctor to treat it. It just strikes me as very odd that you are not given more information about the experiences they have made treating people with this disorder, with everything from taking medications to managing your new life on medications etc.
He finally got my drift and he did agree that things were not perfect, thanked me for the feedback and said he would make sure to think about that with his next patients. If he does, that is great! Or he just wanted to get rid of me :p