Reply To: New Relationship Hyperfocus does it return?

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#180769
leftie22
Participant

There is some really dangerous advice on here. No one should feel like they have to “chase” or create “fun” for someone who isn’t putting in equivalent effort, love or fun. Whether the ADHD person is still interested or not, going 3 weeks with no communication, being on dating sites when polyamory was not previously agreed on, and then dropping a message like nothing happened is not an okay way to treat someone.

Original poster, it’s okay to want and need more from someone, and regardless of whether they are still interested or not, you need more than he’s able to give you. Don’t settle for less or twist yourself into knots to be “fun”. Life is not all fun and games – a lot of it is work, dedication, boring but necessary tasks, and living up to promises.

The idea that a woman needs to make herself fun and perpetually available to an inconsiderate partner makes me really upset. No one would ever tell a man to do that while a woman went off signing up for dating sites and not communicating for weeks at a time. It’s inconsiderate at best, and at worst, emotionally abusive.