Reply To: I need help – my husband cheated during the pandemic and left my children and I

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones I need help – my husband cheated during the pandemic and left my children and I Reply To: I need help – my husband cheated during the pandemic and left my children and I

#179691
spidermonkey70
Participant

Im so sorry your dealing with this. My husband did the same thing. He has cheated throughout our marriage. I have left him on more than one occasion only to take him back because every time we seperate he becomes stable holds down a job and stops chasing everything that moves. My work completely collapsed during the pandemic with no sign of it starting back up and I became sick. He fought with a friend of mine who came out durring the shut down. He magically found a job in California where we are from and found someone to move him to the other side of the country. He has a new job an apartment a new Girl friend who is apparently the “true” love of his life and his missing puzzle piece. The final stab, he is trying to take our son away. I kept asking myself why? What I did that was so terrible. I supported him for almost two decades. I forgave him for his infidelities over and over again. WHY?!?! Then with alot of help from some very wise friends I realized I was trauma bonded to him. What he had done created a level of stress I could not endure. I was searching for him to feed me the dopamine I needed to feel better and when I did get in touch with him i did feel better until he told me he was seeing some one. Then it started again. Then it was pictures of them on social media kissing and hugging. taking vacations while we sat in poverty. He has very narsassistic tendencies. I casnt say if he has NPD but it would point to it. Your not alone. Look into trauma bonding. Start excersising when you feel like contacting him. If hes back do your research. safe guard yourself. Have no contact if hes still gone. it helps to break that cycle of cortisol and dopamine. slowly my house is healing but only because he is so far away. I know you cant see the light so you must be the light…your children need you to guide them and lead them out of this darkness. you can do this. your not alone.