I know what has always helped me (life long ADHD) is when I genuinely feel listened to – no matter how intensely unreasonable what I am going on about may seem to most others. I know you cant do that all day – but maybe setting aside some “venting” time – a therapist is fine to – but someone you trust and respect and love is even better – a no-judge zone – a no-unsolicited advice zone – then if she continues to make very critically negative life choices – at least she knows that you tried your best to “be in her corner”. Hope that helps a ‘tinse” cause I’m sure what your going through is incredibly difficult!