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My son is also 14, ADHD, and obsessed with watching YouTube videos, including those of other people playing video game. I’ve had some progress this summer by setting some choices such as picking between math tutoring once a week or a house project afternoon once a week. Or going to a day camp a couple weeks this summer or volunteering with me once a week. He wasn’t enthusiastic before we went, and was super crabby about getting up to do it, but he ended up enjoying the volunteer work and has been fine with going again the following weeks. For the house project we managed to sparkle and paint his room to cover up the years of writing on the walls. I’m finding that by setting up choices (A or B) rather than asking him “do you want to do this cool thing I thought of” has been helpful. Setting an expectation for the summer that he would either find a job (pretty tough for a 14 year old), go to camp, take a class, or do things with me helped set the groundwork for this.
Then the rest of it is me trying to change my internal dialog. I tell myself we are spending 6-10 hours a week doing planned activities together, we have ended up doing other random things enroute to the planned activities. So he still has WAY too much screen time, but it is a little less than it would have been.
I also totally agree on the friends coming with to make an activity more attractive. That trick works for us too.