Reply To: So lonely and Isolated

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ljsinclair
Participant

I’ve noticed it’s very easy for people to ignore or lay judgements. ADHD is one of these terms that’s been used widely, but no-one really understands it. Aspergers is in the same boat. There’s rumour, there’s conspiracy theory, there’s assumptions and a whole lack of empathy.

Because the condition is “invisible” (i.e., not obvious like a wheelchair, a broken arm or leg), the assumption is we’re lying and we should stop making trouble. There’s two aspects to this: the assumption this is being done deliberately, and that the other person doesn’t have the patience or comprehension or understanding to help.

Now all of this you probably already know, so I’ll finally get to the point, and talk about some coping mechanisms I’ve learned to deal with this kind of thing. Unfortunately education falls to us to provide.

* Tell them how it feels when they brush you off.

“I get that too sometimes – most people do.”

One response could be “You know, when you say that, I fell like you don’t want to know what I’m going through. I feel you don’t care. It’s real for me and I’m having trouble. I need your support not your judgement.”

* Educate – I’m lucky I’m a writer and good at digging for research, and if things come up, I jump online and find information that confirms that ADHD is a real condition, and not to be brushed off because of conspiracy theories. It may be worth going to a doctor or asking/referring to ADDitude or other groups for useful information for your workplace.

* Remember that a professional diagnosis is a real thing, and that the critics, by in large, don’t have medical degrees or any kind of basis in education to make their statements. This can help when you call them out and explain the condition.

* Keep in contact with people who do understand, if only to feel heard and get a sense you’re not alone. That’s why I joined the group today.

Good luck though. And as is sometimes said “Don’t let the b**tards grind you down” 🙂

  • This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by ljsinclair. Reason: left prior edit text in message