I’ve been taking Magnesium because I get horrible leg & muscle cramps and it helps. But I recently read about different forms of magnesium supplement working better and have ordered a new formula. And sleep is generally pretty good. I had major sleep problems from childhood until I started taking Synthroid about 15 years ago. I know I need it and try to make it a priority although it’s been less than average thru this process. I’ve been trying to remember to have my chamomile tea, dark cherries, l-theanine and low dose melatonin at night.
Update on the adderall. Luckily, I am a persistent Google-aholic. I was freaked out thinking I had an adverse reaction because I wasn’t finding my symptoms on the lists of possible Adderall side effects. After I thought of the word that best described my feelings, I searched for info on “Adderall Euphoria”. Whoa! That brought up all the “how-to” tips from recreational drug users on how to enhance the effects of Adderall. This euphoric feeling is what they are trying to achieve by taking high dose combined with other things that help increase the effects. I’m more reassured than ever that I don’t have to worry about drug abuse. I got no pleasure in the experience!
But it made me think that maybe this is not the wrong drug, just WAY too high of a dose. So I discussed with my doctor this morning and she felt I was safe to try 1/2 dose. She said “you are obviously very sensitive and very in tune with your body, so what may be a low dose for others will be high for you”. I knew that and had considered only take 1/2 dose the first day. But I forgot to listen to my gut after my doc said 10 mg was a low dose. With no need to drive while stuck working from home, I felt I could risk trying it again. It’s difficult to estimate half the contents of a capsule sprinkled on yogurt, but after spillage, I’d guess I got about 4.5 – 4.75 mg today.
WAAAY better! But dose is still too much and feels likes it’s overpowering my body. There’s no way I could drive. I’m still too foggy, zoned out, drowsy and feeling like I can’t walk straight. But at least my logical brain could know not to drive. I could totally feel some of the improvements on my brain and that’s awesome! I had an online therapy session and spent much of the day on the phone. I’ve felt so calm, cool and collected – very mentally relaxed. I could express my thoughts so clearly and see things in such a rational way. I wasn’t overpowered by anxious or angry thoughts. On any topic that seemed negative, I could quickly think of a positive solution instead of getting stuck on the negative thoughts. I told my therapist that once we get these ADHD meds figured out, I think I’ll be able to handle anything! This mental illness bullshit isn’t going to beat me. So we discussed my life goals and all the things I want to accomplish once I get the meds right and am functioning again. We also discussed my goal to try EMDR, a different treatment option for PTSD which no longer seems so overwhelming.
But other than talking on the phone as if I was the new Aristotle, I really couldn’t function today. I spent the rest of my time in a daze not knowing what I was supposed to do today. Lots of finding myself in a different room and now knowing why. No chance of doing any of the computer or paperwork tasks I’m behind on for work. So I know the meds aren’t right yet, but confident we’ll get it figured out. My pharmacist says give it several days for your body to get used the drug and I’ve read it can be a few weeks for some of the side effects to settle down, so I’m going to hang in there before saying Adderall doesn’t work for me – maybe next step is non-time release. It just seems like a frustrating roller coaster to keep trying different meds and ruling them all out without a fair trial. A week ago, I would not have thought that way. After my bad experience with the first dose, I would have been so frustrated, said I’m done with this drug and thrown it out, declared therapists are the worlds biggest idiots and quit the whole process.