I think part of it is the anxiety and the pills. I used to be on clonazepam and it gave me memory lagoons and erection problems. So i now only take it very occasionally if I am experiencing a terrible day. Like once or twice a year.
I cant help you with the memory, but for the mood swings (which i also have), weight lifting helped me a lot. Also another change has to be a mentality change, you have to be able to forgive yourself for your flaws and mistakes and just focus on improving your situation. Sometimes when i feel very bad, i jsut think “what can i do to make this better, or at least what can i not do to prevent making things worse”. This of course takes time, so part of the trick is also allow yourself to take your time to change and reminding yourself of the improvements you had in this area, instead of focusing only on the negative.