Reply To: Im really struggling with my partner who has adhd

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I believe what the original poster was referring to when she said that he was ” a bit much”, she was referring to the unique experience between someone without ADHD in a first-time relationship with someone who has ADHD. She was referring to the hyper-focus phase of the relationship, in which the man declares his undying love for you even though he’s only known you for a few weeks or months. My fiance did the same thing to me.

I believe the struggle is the fact that they moved in together and she’s only known him seven months. 7 months is not long enough for the hyper-focus phase to wear off and it does wear off. Living together and the realities of life would cause that hyper-focus to wane sooner.

One thing is for sure. She is going to get burned out trying to keep all the balls in the air. Trying to take care of his children as well as her own and keep the house clean is much too much for one person especially if she is working full-time.


Don’t apologize for having feelings or expressing them. It sounds like you are overwhelmed. Knowing that you gave up living where you were living to move in with him is also a lot.
My fiance and I have been together for five years. We had to work out a lot in the beginning due to misunderstandings due to his ADHD. He would blurt things out and make inappropriate comments and there was a number of things that came up that were related to the ADHD affect. For instance, he doesn’t pick up on nonverbal cues very well. I have to spell things out for him.

We do not live together because I have a teenage daughter and we live in different towns. After she graduates next year, I will move in with him. I know that will be a big adjustment. I know that many people with ADHD, my fiance included do not do well with change. He does well in his own environment where things are set up. For him there is comfort in routine. He almost flipped out when he moved from his apartment to his house two years ago because he didn’t know where anything was and it took him awhile to set everything up. I ran out to the store and bought him a stack of Notepads for him to keep his lists, because he couldn’t find the box where his notepads were…lol.

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by AdeleS546.