Thanks, I’m glad my replies were of help to you.
Maybe no woman has replied because the topic is a little “too close to home”?
I probably picked up the advice about seeing things from a bystander’s perspective from a self-help book or something like that. I’ve read quite a lot of things like that over the years. It’s easy to criticise self-help stuff, but it can be useful sometimes!
Maybe you could think, well suppose everything DID go right on the day of the wedding.. what would happen next? Imagine life going back to normal, and keep “playing the tape all the way through”, if you know what I mean.
Hopefully I explained that well enough. I find that method helpful sometimes when I’m obsessing over something in my past. It often gives me insights into how, in reality, there can be hidden downsides to seemingly “perfect” things.