Reply To: Newly diagnosed 13 year old daughter

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Penny Williams

First, give yourself some grace. You did the best you could with what you knew. Now you know more and you’ll be able to use that to do better.

There’s so much to think about when first diagnosed, but you can’t do it all at once. You’ve started treatment and that is crucial for improvement. The next step is to shift your parenting. Remember, Ross Green PhD teaches us that “Kids do well IF they can.” Kids want to succeed. If they aren’t meeting expectations consistently, then there’s a barrier and/or your expectations are too high for where your child is right now, in light of development and neurological differences.

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“Raising Human Beings” by Greene is a fantastic book. I am reading “Beyond Behaviors” by Mona Delahooke right now and it’s beyond amazing. This two books will help you determine where your daughter is, why she does the things she does and struggles in certain areas, and how to help her thrive.

Our kids can’t be changed, we parents must do the changing.

Her self-confidence needs your consistent attention, to help her build confidence and experience successes. She needs that now more than ever, with the way things have gone recently, and at her age.

Good Grades Matter—but My Daughter’s Self-Esteem Matters More

ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Author & Podcaster, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism