Reply To: HAUNTING Wedding Trauma!

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#173314
grammareina
Participant

You actually give really good, perceptive advice!
I’m really glad you stumbled upon my post.
Especially because it seems that no women could relate to it or chose to respond (at least thus far).
I can see the positive identity side for a soldier. You make a good point.
I like your advice on seeing something from a bystander point of view. I like that. It seems healthy, not mad.
When I most feel unhealthy is with the stubborn persistence of wanting my first hand perspective to be perfectly happy.
It sounds crazy, but as I told my husband, if your average girl fantasizes about a dream wedding… multiply it for me!
I needed that to comfort myself for all the times I’ve been excluded and called weird or not good enough. I am just fixated that if the two incidents had gone differently, I could use the glow of that day for a lifetime of happiness to soothe myself whenever I feel left out or less than everyone else.
My husband says that is a crazy idea and there is no way that could have happened anyways. I don’t know if it is crazy, but since it didn’t go that way and I can’t change it, it certainly drives me crazy!