Much of what you describe could be attributed to depression and/or anxiety, so an SSRI might be the best place to start. They can take 4-6 weeks to see full effects, so don’t judge the medication helpfulness too early. And, anxiety and depression can be caused by ADHD struggles. If that’s the case, SSRIs alone may not be helpful enough and he may need to treat the ADHD as well.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism