Reply To: Talk me Down from Anger and Resentment

Penny Williams

It sounds like the structure and routine necessary to succeed at work are really helping him take initiative and do what he needs to, but the lack of the same structure and routine at home make it hard for him to meet expectations.

My suggestion is to sit down with him and put together a structured plan based on a written list of responsibilities. So, every Saturday morning, he cleans the bathroom (set a specific time). Each night he tidies his bedroom before going to bed. Every Sunday afternoon, he dusts and vacuums his bedroom. Maybe every Wednesday night he puts clean sheets on his bed. He studies for the finance exam for 30 minutes every day following dinner, ets…

Make a written weekly calendar with this routine and have him put it in his phone with alerts as reminders. Or, there are apps to help you build and stick to routines that could be useful.

I would ban political discussions in the house for everyone’s sanity. I’ve had to refuse to discuss politics with someone in my own family for the same reason (not someone that lives with me, thankfully).

All of this is setting boundaries for you and your household and helping him to succeed despite his neurological differences.

ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism