She doesn’t get to decide if you use the medications. For most people with ADHD, the meds are a lifesaver and are critical to continued management of what is a difficult condition to live with.
Lots of people don’t believe in ADHD, and often that non-belief is bolstered by the behavior of many ADHD people and the surrounding support industry which over-rotates on “it’s a neurological difference” to the point that they’re basically saying “therefore you are not responsible for yourself, and it’s unfair to expect you to take responsibility.” That last part is the killer.
Your wife should pay attention to the scientific reality of the condition, skeptical as she may be, and you can help with this by taking nearly all the responsibility for managing your life. It sounds like you’re up for doing that, which is great.