I’m very sorry to hear of your pain. I do understand some of it; I have a husband with untreated adhd (also wants no treatment), and kids with adhd and other comorbid diagnoses. And I have 2 family members with bipolar.
The problem with bipolar and adhd being in the same individual is that doctors are cautioned to never give bipolar patients any stimulants. Why is this? Because it can trigger a manic episode, and in treating bipolar, you want to avoid manic episodes as much as possible.
You mentioned that he has been prescribed Wellbutrin. That is often given for adhd treatment, as well as depression. So he doesn’t realize it, but he’s on a treatment for adhd. It may not be a high enough dose for you to see the difference you are hoping for, however. And yet, it might have to be kept at a low dose because it’s also used for depression. And with depression meds, doctors also have to take care with their bipolar patients. It’s a much more complicated beast than adhd.
I’m really sorry for all your pain. And from watching my two family members with bipolar, they are in a lot of pain, too. This stuff stinks for everyone.