Reply To: trying to keep my relationship from falling apart

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#171907
ryoto
Participant

My psychologist friend gets their clients to do this.

Make two lists of your accomplishments over the last 7 year:
One personal (jobs hobbies, paying off the credit card ect)
Second as a couple (moving in, holidays exc)

Then you need to make a list or mind map of things you want to achieve for both.

Then show her the achievements and ask her to do the same thing.

Then both show hopes for the future together.

This is designed to start a positive discussion and if you have her points written down its harder to forget or misunderstand what she had enjoyed or what she wants in the future.

This gives you both the chance to talk through your goals and see if you both want the same things in family life and professional goals.

If a relationship is to be saved you both have to work on it. Pick one of the goals you both want even if it is just to paint the living room walls and do it together.

You said she thinks follow through for you is a problem, by doing the above you can show you can get things done together and start a new system where you both know what your working towards and take it one step at a time together.