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I am just wondering why do you want him to come back? You have said you want to end the marriage and it seems like from what you have said he has done this before, if he came back how likely are you to fall back to old habits?
Only you can say what is best for you and the kids but think hard about what you want and stick to tour decision.
Personally I would only have him meet you and the kids on neutral territory while you both argue out your future and any divorce type things.
He has chosen to leave the family home, kids and you. He has done it before and he expects that you will let him do it again.
Take care of yourself.