Reply To: My parents don't understand ADHD

#171437
mpicc77
Participant

You poor baby – and I really mean that. I am 42 and I didn’t find out that I had ADD until my 20s… by then I was already convinced in my core that I was damaged goods and less than what I should be. All I can say is, good for you to find this out about yourself so young and to be a champion for yourself. As a mom myself now, I honestly thought I was going to be the most understanding and empathetic parent, given all the struggles I had growing up… and I have been mortified to see that I am often repeating the same mistakes my own mom made. It can be hard sometimes as a parent to know whether you are doing the right thing by your kids – are you coddling them too much, or do you need to tell them to just buckle down… I think mostly we’re just scared of doing the wrong thing. But you are clearly very intelligent and introspective and learning about how your ADD brain works. I’m sure you know the phenomenon you’re referring to is called hyper-focus and it’s our ADD superpower – once you are excited and interested in something, the building could fall down around you and you would keep working on it. Definitely harness that! I think you are right to ask your parents to learn more about it – for both you and your sister. One thing I realized is that no one really wants to sit down and read articles about ADD except people with ADD. Perhaps you could find some articles that really resonate with you and highlight areas that you would like to share with your parents – and read it aloud to them. Find a day that is calm and you can ask them to sit down on the couch because it’s really important to you that they understand why you do some of the things you do – and then read the parts that you want them to hear. I am constantly reading things out loud to my husband that I find on the internet so he is forced to understand me 🙂 I don’t know if this is a magic solution but just a small start, and to let you know that you’re not alone. Do not stop standing up for yourself and asking for what you need. People with ADD often hide within their shame and don’t want to be an extra bother or use humor to cover it up. Don’t do that to yourself. You deserve MORE. Good luck. xxoo.

  • This reply was modified 6 months, 4 weeks ago by mpicc77.