Reply To: I want to go to college but everybody is telling me I'm not ready

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Teens and Young Adults with ADHD I want to go to college but everybody is telling me I'm not ready Reply To: I want to go to college but everybody is telling me I'm not ready

#171319
hayes
Participant

Rylee

I’m a high school teacher (25 yrs) diagnosed with severe (inattentive) ADD 18 yrs ago at age 35. First off, this is a huge accomplishment! You should be duly proud of yourself- especially attaining it on your own. I also have 2 college-aged children (one starting next year). The teacher in me says ‘Go for it!’ You’ve put yourself in position to get into a school you dreamed about, so you’ve clearly put in the foundational work they require. That tells me that you are in a position to handle the higher-order levels of intellectual output that college demands.

Do your parents think that you won’t be up for the higher degree of demands on your time/schedule? You will be responsible for your own time, and will need to be organized in a way you probably didn’t need to be before. You’ll also be on your own, needing to build your own coping strategies and support systems; that’s daunting for any college-aged kid, never mind someone who struggles with executive functioning like we do. I can certainly understand their apprehension as a parent.

My one suggestion: would they, and you, be open to a formal contract? You would commit to doing EVERYTHING you need to do in order to stay on top of things at school – you an negotiate that. In turn, they agree to support you in the ways you need. If you don’t meet those, they have recourse to bring you home. This might also help with the mediation of a counselor/therapist. Are you in treatment? Lots of colleges have mental health centers – maybe agreeing to meet formally at school with someone who can help build those strategies/skills might allay their concerns.

Sorry this is so long – but it’s kind of in my wheelhouse as a parent, teacher, and fellow ADDer. I hope this helps. Either way – you should be proud of yourself and this accomplishment! Let us know how things progress – I wish you all the positive vibes going forward…

CH