Many, many therapists are offering teletherapy right now. While you can’t get a diagnosis yet, you can get some help with the day to day of what you’re going through. Most insurance companies in the US are covering the teletherapy too.
Read up on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It seems to fit for you and explains a lot of your hurt and maybe your husband’s perspective that you’re “too sensitive” or the like.
And look for ways to take your husband out of the equation in helping you with your tasks. You don’t want to set a parent-child dynamic between you. Is there a friend that could help you with it over facetime, for instance? Or an ADHD coach?
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism