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It takes mindful awareness to change the way you parent. I would start practicing mindfulness, even 5 minutes a day. When something comes up with your child, train yourself to pause before responding or reacting. This is something you’ll have to practice long-term, but it works. I shifted myself from reactive to mindful in my own parenting.
Remember too, even what you don’t see as critical may be received as critical — I’m seeing that that happened with my now young adult child.
It’s difficult to undo patterns of parenting we have known for decades, but you can turn it around. It’s amazing that you’ve even realized that you need to.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism