This is late in responding but I am a spouse of an adhd man. I totally understand running on empty. It happens weekly if not daily for me. My husband is a perfectionist probably as a result of coping with his adhd. He is very productive and can out work anyone. But he has to have almost constant affirmation. He doesn’t like to look me in the eyes but is irritated if I look away for a second. I have the opposite frustration as you in that he is too involved. But almost every decision is my heavy. Some days it’s just too much. What has helped me is to allow myself to do the things I enjoy. If you need take time everyday. This is the best way I’ve found to not get burned out. Don’t worry if he thinks you’re mad at him, tell him you’re not but continue on doing your thing. This is the best help for me. God bless you!