Have you tried implementing schedule and routine. You can divvy up the household tasks and make them routine (Saturday is laundry day, for instance, or the dishwasher is emptied after dinner every night). That could really help. So, instead of you asking or nagging when you want help (as he likely perceives it) you have a plan of divided responsibilities.
Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism