Reply To: Inattentive ADHD type woman getting frustrated with Non-ADHD partner

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sandymermaid
Participant

Wow! I, seriously could have written that myself! I know exactly what you’re saying/ where you’re coming from. I don’t have answers for you but I am going to follow this to see what people have to say.

I was diagnosed in November and began Meds in Jan, 2020. I’m new to this as well.
So, my journey begins!
REALLY late in life I’ll add to that! I also married later in life than most and had my children later in life.
My head is spinning!
I was ALL about my career before family life.
I had my little defense mechanisms and coping skills down to an art! I didn’t even know I was doing them, especially not for a reason. I’m not a clean freak but I am UBER organized.
Career was my choice- I adored what I did (NASA) and my focus and attention were outside of my house- which, I’m find out now exactly WHY that was(!) … I’m not such a domestic kinda girl! My family is adding to my … frustration.
So … following! I NEED ANSWERS.

One LAST thing before I post this.
IMHO— he should support you and your endeavors (especially furthering your education- that’s a plus for the entire family in the long run. He definitely shouldn’t complain that you’re not giving him enough time. Another stressor! If you’re like me you don’t want to disappoint anyone. For me, that would be worse than being useless around the house. That’s just my opinion. Please don’t be offended … that’s not my intention.
While I’m at it …
I swear(grrrr)!! … In my simple observations- and curiosity. I have found guys seem to be about the same when it comes to chores. When they do anything considered a ”woman’s” job around the house they ALL seem to point out when they do the most mundane task. A task that is just expected of us(women). Can you imagine pointing out every time you did the dishes(laundry, cooked, cleaned, etc).
I was so annoyed with my husband, I wondered if it was just me being irrational. So, I asked my friends about their husbands and it appears they all do the same thing! High OR low. Educated or not. Egalitarian, you name it …
So, your partner pointing out his help in your house seems to be NORMAL from what I’ve gathered! Expected of us, even though we have full time jobs as well. Yet, somehow special when a man does the same thing 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
My husband is great. He helps without having to be asked. He also . points . out . every . Single . little . thing . HE . does, if it’s even remotely considered a ”woman’s” chore! It’s sooooooo aggravating!!
As I said, these are MY observation(s) w/ the men I have been in relationships with, and my friends comments on their husbands.
SO … no offense to any men, that’s just my world.