The best thing a GP ever said to me was that you could be happy & still have depression. She was right – when I was in my own little bubble, with no external stressors I was happy. But depression isnt a lack of happiness. Its constant, constant thinking about what youre doing wrong, whats wrong with you, what other people think. Its shame, & being unable to cope with anything extra. Your head just goes around & around with self critical thoughts & things you used to like have no appeal.
I found some online depression tests & they were actually very accurate. If youve managed to reduce your life to make yourself feel safe then you probably dont feel that you are depressed – but you cant live like that.
I dont think you have a PD – but I do know that depression can make you think you might have. Thats theres something so fundametally wrong with you, & so broken that it must be something like that. But dont forget ADHD is also very much an emotional disorder – its not just about focus, it can be extreme sensitivity to things other people dont care about (criticism, real or imagined for example).
Also, be wary of ADHD meds. Much as Id not go off them for the world Im starting to realise they can sometimes have unintended consequences. Things you used to be able to do somehow dont seem important any more.