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ADD is a disease and your wife needs some help. Not sure what she had attempted to try, emphasize the word “try” to control ADD her symptoms. I have ADD I’m on Ritalin it helps me, not saying medication is an answer it’s not but I am saying meditation is an answer.Creating a sense of order is an answer.
ADD really exposes it’s ugly head under stress, which is everywhere, 24 x 7. Your home life with your girls sounds normal, which is normally stressful. YES get them organized and engaged but i can also suggest that THEY all need to KNOW Mom is not well, she looks well at time acts well but she is not well. She will be erratic! SO make sure they (the girls and you) Understand the Seriousness of her illness. When we see someone suffering humans will shift behavior, they will want to help MOM. Their actions of cleaning up and asking what can i do to help will HELP. Have a meeting, not too heavy, maybe over pizza, do research with them on line, go to blogs like this, watch videos and “re-discover” this illness, treat it like a class science project, Educate them slowly, they will get it. Also make sure your providing time for yourself.
all my love and respect