@wantstodomore, thank you for being so vulnerable in your post. Your pain and your struggle truly come through in your words, and I hope that you find that there are many here who can relate to your experiences so closely. Some who posted above and I, myself, were less fortunate, on one hand, to have been diagnosed much later in life. (I was diagnosed at 49.) Imagine having had your experiences for four or five decades. Yet, we are all fortunate to finally have come across the practitioner who “got” us and was able to identify the culprit to our life’s malaise. I wept at my psych appointment when I was told “You definitely have ADHD,” both out of relief and in grief for all of the loss to be reckoned: loss in relationships, studies, career and personal development. This is all to say that you can be assured that you are not alone nor are you unusual. Also, please find the gratitude in having the ADHD caught so early in your life so that you will have many, many years of productivity and success ahead of you. I am excited for you as you start to build the life you were always meant to have. It is up to you, and you can definitely do this.