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A misunderstanding is one thing, but flip-flopping like this has got to be maddening.
You need to ask yourself if you are willing to put up with someone who flakes out on you like this. It sounds a little like RSD and anxiety mixed. Until he gets himself under control, expect more of the same behavior.
Even if his behavior is ADHD related, there is nothing you can do to help him, he has to help himself. Check out Melissa Orlov’s site. There you will find hundreds of posts from the “Non” partners of ADHDer’s, who after years of walking on eggshells and stuffing their own feelings down are left feeling lonely, empty and confused.
Because you cannot change him, if you were to get married or ever have children with him, the situation could be exacerbated.