Focus on your kids and yourself don’t worry about trusting other people yet.
ADHD ect runs in family’s so now you know the signs you will be able to help your kids should anything arise with them.
Don’t forget his behaviour will have affected them as much as you even if he was never abusive to them they may later on mirror his behaviour towards you. This happened with my cousin her daughter treated her mother the way the abusive father did.
I hope your divorce goes without too much trauma and it will help you both get some perspective.
Sometimes being to close to someone makes it easy to ignore minor things that would be considered red flags to others. A prime example is parents refusing to acknowledge ADHD/Autism/dyslexia in there kids!
Just focus on yourself, you have decided to leave him and though he may always be in your life for the kids doesn’t mean he has to affect you for the rest of your life.