Reply To: RSD – Totally me

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My husband has RSD, perhaps not as extreme as yours periblue but same pattern. Like a split personality for sure. Arguments are often based around his perception that I’m “having a go” at him. The most benign comments he will interpret that way out of the blue. Telling him to “calm down” is enough or suggesting a solution to a problem he is venting about. The rages are so unpredictable and doesn’t matter what I say or do everything escalates it. Many times I’ve left the house either walking or driving to escape. Unfortunately he is usually still raging on my return and sometimes tries to follow me but less so now. Once years ago he disengaged the battery on my car so I couldn’t drive it!
Once because I didn’t rush fast enough for a bus after a great night out at a show (I was organising our 3 dawdling kids while he rushed ahead through the crowd) he was so angry we missed the bus that angrily reprimanded me in public and then he threw a drink on me!! Many passers by said nothing btw. The irony was buses were every 15mins so who even cares!!
It’s scary and challenging but then we have weeks usually months of harmony getting on fine
I’m only just getting him to see this is a possibility in him (25 years married) We are trying to work on it…we’ll I am reminding him to work on it, read about RSD and ultimately get help
RSD is certainly real
If he could address his RSD Our marriage would be near perfect! (Apart from the mess and constant losing of things haha but I can deal with that)
Jay. Being aware of it you are more than 50% on the way to controlling it. Work hard at it so it doesn’t affect your future employment and relationships. I think it’s totally manageable esp with the right therapist. If you feel the rage building leave the situation or do some exercise or write in a diary until you calm down You can do it