Clinical impulsivity makes it almost impossible for a reminder to “make better choices” to work in the moment. THe ADHD brain can rarely stop and think before acting, especially at age 12/13. This is why punishment doesn’t work for those with ADHD.
To change behavior you have to find the root cause and address the cause.
Kids do well if they can. He’s not choosing to act out (unless he thinks it will help him socially, which does happen, especially at his age). Shift your perspective and look at behavior as a signal of something else going on.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism