First of all you never bore me, instead, you inspire me to keep moving forward. My heart goes out to you. The rages can be very cruel. I believe we have them to keep the focus off of ourselves. We feel justified that it is not us. However, I know I never felt in my heart, what was coming out of my mouth. Hell, most of the time, I never even remembered what I had said by the next day. We really believe you will always be there and never leave us. Then the remorse, the apologies, you know the rest. Then there are the two or three, maybe more, wonderful weeks that follow. We get comfortable and confident all is well. And it begins all over again. How I wish I could help you and Sun20. I have never been this passionate about anything. I wish I could get thru to others in denial. They have no idea how much better it is to deal with it. They have no idea that you WILL leave at some point. And the apologies, tears and promises won’t work anymore. And remember, YOU are not to blame.
Be well and take care of yourself. Please keep posting. It helps!