Hey my dear Amber,
I have a very deep story, but I’d rather just focus on you. I want you to do that too. Don’t worry about the medical Bill’s. Unfortunately, its very costly when it comes to mental healthcare (health care period). This is actually the number one cause of bankruptcy. Just send $1 to each place. They won’t send it back. Trust. Focus on your OWN healing. Others have to accept their issues first, and most people won’t (typically). Don’t give up. Don’t ever check out of life (you know what I mean) no matter what. I am dealing with PTSD, ADHD, among other things due to 3 abusive relationships (1st one 20 years ago, last one ended just weeks ago. Those illnesses are medically confirmed, but I also have other issues. PTSD encompasses a lot in itself. The last bs relationship was a toxic Narcissist (met all criteria) so he almost landed me on train tracks cuz he was the worst Read about how your mental issues impact your brain then look for positive articles with practical ways to cope. Each day will have it’s own anxieties, so forget tomorrow and just go one day at a time. You may qualify for Social Security just read about how to get it instead of just applying. Just get your documents together for proof. Go for walks. Get as much fresh air as possible and find just ONE person you can cry, scream too, etc. Even if it’s video chat cuz no one is near you. Get a journal and write down your feelings. What’s your favorite food? As you eat it really take the time to enjoy it and focus on that feeling for 15 to 20 seconds. Find one thing you are grateful for each day and put it on paper and start a jar or collection of them. I don’t even know how I ended up on here. I never join forums or chats AT ALL. but I had just finished praying for myself and your title sounded just like me, so I thought I was getting some info about how to medically rid myself of those feelings. Proof that you are NOT alone in this life. Pray to the “true God” if you believe in a higher power. Don’t carry the weight of others. Just continue to take responsibility for you. Who cares about medical Bill’s. Unfortunately, it’s just a part of the process. Find somewhere similar to Reagan Medical Center. They are unbelievably helpful and affordable. If you are not in that state see if they can refer you. I can’t afford therapy twice a week, so let that be your first piece of documented gratitude tomorrow, and move forward. Don’t get distracted by the unwillingness of others to take part in their OWN healing. Dress up, take some pretty selfies, and smile in all of them even if it’s a fake smile. If you keep investing in your health the smile will become real. The system is set up to drain our pockets. Their minimum payment doesn’t have to be yours. They don’t know what you are facing. Just send something and keep moving.